Culture Shock

Spitting…EVERYWHERE. Is what I thought as I listened in horror to the gentleman sitting at the table next to me while awaiting my beef noodle soup hawking up phlegm from the bottom of his respiratory passage. “I will not look. I will not look. I will not look” is what I repeatedly stated to myself in my head. For God’s sake, don’t look! I dared not to let my eyes deviate from my straight ward gape of righteousness to see where he would discard what seemed to be like a loogie from the outer space layer of his cerebellum. If I did, that would be the beginning and end of my meal.

Now, we all know the typical “In China, they eat cats and dogs” mentality, right? I venture to say the amount of spitting doesn’t get nearly the amount of exposure or recognition it unquestionably needs. And I’m not talking about an occasional spitting something out to get a bad taste out of your mouth kind of spit. I’m talking about the I’ve been sick and congested for three days, so I hawk up something from the bottom of my intestines kind of spitting…onto the sidewalk…where everybody is walking! Am I the only person who has a problem with this! Yes! This isn’t something you’d do in America without someone letting you know that you’re a disgusting human being who should be beheaded for being utterly distasteful. But here, this is the norm. Oh boy, things just got real. I wouldn’t say that it is morally or ethically wrong because it’s their culture, it’s just you know…different. And honestly, I doubt that I will ever get used to it.

I hurried to scarf down my meal quickly to avoid any further possibilities of hearing the grotesque sound of some elderly woman gather saliva from behind her ears; to chuck it between her dentures onto the ground or in the trash can next to my foot. I then quickly rushed out to the metro station to head to my medical assessment.

The medical assessment

“You must wait until 10 am to ask the doctor if they will see you or not.” Is what the receptionist told me after handing her my medical assessment request, and quickly finding out that my appointment was a day prior. Boy, this sure is getting interesting, how could my school forget the date of my assessment? I felt a bit reprieved looking around the room, however, and seeing the petrified look on the faces of other foreigners, as they nervously shuffled papers around ensuring they didn’t forget anything that would get them embarrassingly sent to the end of the line. At least I’m not alone in this one. As a result, I sat quietly in a corner and listened to music until I finally got my chance to see the doctor.

10 o’ clock on the dot, I find myself back at the receptionist desk praying to the doctor gods that the doctor would allow me to take my medical exam. Luckily, they agreed. I then was sent down the assembly line to multiple rooms.  I’ve never felt like such a piece of meat.  The first, I had to take off the top of my clothing and put on a white robe along with some plastic shoe coverings. Of course, the kid in me attempted to skate across the tile floor gliding into the next room. I don’t think the nurse was too fond of that due to the unnerving look on her face as I glided into the room almost crashing into her. The next room I had to pay for my assessment. Boy, this is awkward. I’m so used to being seen first and worrying about the price later. In China, you must pay your $200 to pass go on this monopoly board. The next room was the EKG room to check my heart. The nurse was very formal and didn’t seem to have much of a personality. So me being Mr. social butterfly, I speak out “Good morning, how are you?” Pure silence…then she says, ”Lay down and open robe.” Well, excuuuuse me! At this point, I’m thinking that maybe it’s good that I just shut my mouth and get through this assessment before somehow I get my work visa revoked. But the competitive side of me just couldn’t resist.

After finishing my EKG, I looked up to the nurse and asked, “Well, am I going to die? Is my ticker working?” Boy, what an idiot you are Satch. Just shut up already! The nurse then cuts her eyes at me and ignores me, then tells me to go to the next room and hands me my paperwork. I then go to a large metal door with what looks like the poison warning label on it. Oh, it’s the X-ray room. I walk into the X-ray room, which was freezing cold, and instantly start talking again. “You guys don’t like the heat? It’s freezing in here!” Everyone pauses and stares at me. That indicated to me that I probably should stop talking. I then was prompted to press my breast area against the freezing cold machine to take the picture. Afterwards, I was quickly rushed to the next room.

I get to the grand finale, which is where they draw your blood. There was a Colombian study abroad student in front of me freaking out about being stuck by a needle. In my head, I thought that maybe she was more afraid of being stuck by a Chinese nurse than the actual pain of the needle. So, of course, me being helpful me, I chose to talk her through the pain. I could tell the nurse wanted to tell me to shut up, but she showed restraint, which is common in the Chinese culture. After a swift and effective blood draw, I stood up proudly patting myself on the back for the good deed of the day. The nurse put me in the chair quickly to draw my blood, and get me the hell out of there. I attempted to strike up a friendly conversation but was greeted with a devilish stare.

After successfully completing my blood draw, I was done! I quickly wrapped up in the office and rushed out. “Boy, what an interesting day.” Is what I thought on the taxicab ride back to the metro station, as the taxi driver picked his nose the majority of the drive. I did my best to pretend not to notice but was prepared for war if that hand reached out towards me. After a long day, I ended it with a quiet cup of noodle and some Chinese television. Days like this are rare but very interesting to experience first hand. Oh Shanghai, the best is yet to come. Now it’s time for orientation.